Stuff People Say When You DON’T Have a Kid and What on Earth to Say Back

When will ya’ll start popping out some kids?!
People always seem to think they know best. If you’ve ever graduated, you’d think there can’t possibly be a more grating, anxiety-inducing question than, “So, what’s next?” I WISH I KNEW, GRAMMY. But you get a job, you get married…surely you must be safe from the wince-worthy questions now. But no.

Maybe you’ve just gotten married. More likely, you’ve been married a while. It’s inevitable so you might as well be prepared for the questions:

What are you waiting for?!
Remember how Michael Scott gave Pam a list of excuses to get him out of inconvenient phone calls?

Just go ahead and make one of those lists for when you get asked about having kids. My frequent go-tos:

“We want to travel together a bit more.” – Because it’s true! Hubby and I love to travel together and we can’t wait to show our kids the world too – someday.

“We want to be bit more financially stable.” – Also a true and valid concern but be forewarned: you’ll get some dismissal like, “You’ll never be fully ready, you should just jump!”

“We’re not having kids.” – Okay so this appears when I’ve just had enough and my editor’s left the building. I do not recommend it because this just ticks everyone off and they get 10000% more pushy. Learn from my mistakes ya’ll.

Are you guys having fertility issues?
So a lot depends on who is asking you this…hopefully it’s your best friend and not the cashier at Walmart. Either way, don’t allow yourself to feel pressured into revealing any information you aren’t comfortable sharing, especially if you haven’t determined with your partner what to share with outside parties (even very dear ones). Fertility issues are extremely sensitive and completely invisible. You never know who is walking through that battle nor should you. It’s okay for partners to keep things to themselves. Not everyone needs to know your business. And you absolutely have the right to change your minds about sharing your story later down the road.

Don’t be selfish!
While this may be delivered playfully or casually, there’s a hidden little lie inside that you must make sure isn’t able to take root in your heart. It is not selfish to exercise judgement when it comes to your own life choices. You cannot allow guilt or manipulation to impact that discernment.

I don’t want to be an old grandparent!
…as opposed to a young grandparent? Grandparents are supposed to be old!

The bottom line is…
I always do my best to give the benefit of the doubt when I’m asked these questions and assume that people are simply trying to take an interest in my life. But it’s also important to remember, you don’t owe anyone any more information than you are comfortable sharing. And no one is worthy of guilting you into one of the biggest decisions of your life.

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