14 Oct Stuff People Say To You When You Have a Kid and What On Earth To Say Back
Since having a baby, I’ve found that the whole world seems to have opened up. It’s like a completely new level of relating and interacting with people was always just a baby-in-the-arms away. But in all seriousness, I exist to the outside world now. Do I agree with this? No. I think people should always be kind and cordial to anyone they cross paths with (regardless of cute and squishy accessories). But can I blame these people? No… Everie is seriously so stinking cute, you can’t help but gush over her (biased opinion acknowledged). So now, everywhere I go, people have to stop me and talk to me about sweet Evie girl. And I do mean everywhere! They either just want to let me know how cute she is, tell me to sign her up for baby modeling, or give me that little nugget of advice that they dish out to any and every mom they ever see. ever. That little slice of parenting pie just busts out of them like they’d been waiting to say it since they sensed a baby in their presence. And over time, I began to notice a pattern or a “Top 3 Hits” that I would like to share with you all. So here they are… the things people have said to me and what on earth I’ve said back.
Just Wait Until….
This little number always starts out with a simple: “Awww, how old is she?” and then quickly dive-bombs to “Oh three months? Just wait until she’s seventeen and about to graduate highschool!” Uhm, wut? NO.
In my short time as a mother, I’ve discovered that everyone has a number. Whether it is six or sixteen, every parent can recall the exact age that his or her darling little child turned into the devil. “Just wait until she’s six and she never cleans up her toys!” (Then kid won’t have any toys anymore #thisisreallifekid). “Just wait until she is fourteen and all she does is talk back to you!” Taking life one step at a time, as I generally do, I’m going to wait for my kid to start talking in the first place. But as a rule, I try not to say the first thing that comes to my mind out loud.
So my tried and true answer goes something like this: “Oh geez, I can’t even think that far ahead yet! I’m just enjoying these baby days!” Pure gold. As my wise sissy-in-love, Lauren, says: “Be where you are.” People spend so much time worrying about the future and what is to come that they miss out on the right now. I don’t have time to “just wait until” my daughter is a certain age or acts a certain way because I’m too busy taking in every tiny moment with her now. I figure I’ll have enough sweet moments and fun memories with her stored up that I’ll have little trouble loving her through anything later in life.
Is this your first child?
Don’t be fooled by this seemingly innocent question, asit is almost always followed by: “Well enjoy her because your next one will probably be terrible!” These are the things that give me nightmares.
Personally, I like to think that any kid I bring into the world will be 100% perfect but I am an idealist. However, even if my next child is bat-Dakota Fanning-crazy, it ain’t my kid yet so I don’t have to worry about it. Now before I tell you how I respond to this gem, I’ll tell you the next thing people say to me as its response goes hand-in-hand with this one.
When are you having your next one?
Oh sweet Lawdy, this one gets me. If I was honest, my answer would go something like: “As soon as I get over the trauma of pushing this one out.” I won’t be having a “next one” until I can wrap my head around what the heck even happened birthing this one. Once my body feels relatively normal again, maybe we’ll consider it.
However, my out loud response usually starts with a chuckle and goes into “we’re not even thinking about a next one yet! We’re too busy with this one!” That’s about as honest as I can get while still sounding like a sane human being. But if I’m truly honest, I’m terrified to have a next one. And that is totally okay! Pregnancy and motherhood are hard. In fact, they are so much harder than I ever imagined and I need time to figure out how to be the best mom I can be. So I am going to take my time, unapologetically. And when (or if) the time comes to have a next one, I will know. That’s all that matters.
In the end, what it comes down to is you. You don’t need to spend your time worrying about what could happen in the future if you “just wait until”; instead, spend your time creating a wonderful environment for your kids to grow up in. Nurture them, guide them, and love them the way only their mom knows how (Even if they do turn out to be crazy). And if you are faced with these questions and remarks, just remember who you are. YOU are mommy. Be the mom you want to be, not the one other people think you should be. Don’t judge your life by the questions and pressures of other people. Live your perfect life with the full assurance that you are doing your absolute best – in the end, that’s what truly counts.
Share some of your experiences in the comments below and let me know if you’ve faced any of these remarks! Solidarity, sister!